25 August 2010

multi-tasker of the week award

Wow.  This is … quite impressive ... I think.  The official charge was “Driving with impaired alertness”, but the news out of Cincinnati was that the woman was driving while working a vibrator and watching porn on a laptop being held be whomever was in the passenger seat.

Picture this and think up every joke you want.  This one’s ripe for it.  I would have figured that this car would have been weaving all across the road, but she was actually just pulled over because her car had illegally tinted windows.

Seriously, man.  Those windows were probably tinted for the public’s safety.  The “impaired alertness” would be on the driver of every car that passed her by whose driver happened to look over.

I just want to know what in the world the passenger was doing the whole time.  Do your buddy a solid and take the wheel or something.  If she was running late for an appointment and absolutely had to be as relaxed as possible when she got there, I’m sure there were other ways of doing that.  Or, perhaps they were almost late returning the video.  Do video rental places even exist anymore?  I don’t recall seeing any porn scroll by on the Redbox machine the other day.

Remember, friends don’t let friends drive….with “impaired alertness”.  Unless you both get off on that kind of thing I guess.  No word on if she had any smokes on her for when she got to her…destination, but apparently she had a broken crack pipe in her purse too.

Whatever enterprising young filmmaker taking notes on this for their next plot may want to leave that last part out.  If there’s any lesson here, it’s that there’s nothing sexy about a crack head.


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